Saya membunuh anak saya
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Saya membaca entah di mana bahwa di setiap jiwa, sedikit hujan harus mulai membuatnya lebih menarik dan berarti. Tetapi saya menyebabkan badai petir di kehidupan suami saya tiga tahun yang lalu. Badai petir bahwa dia tidak tahu petunjuk.
Suami saya adalah seorang pengusaha dan saya seorang guru piano. Kami mempunyai 3 orang anak laki-laki dan 2 orang gadis. Anak sangat dekat pada ketuaan yang tidak adalah kejutan sewaktu saya meletupkan mereka ke luar tahunan. Oleh waktu saya kelima tiba, saya tahu itu cukup. Saya memohon suami vasektomi saya tetapi dia menolak. Saya tersadar bahwa pil pembatasan kelahiran sedang pergi untuk menjadi satu-satunya hal bahwa bisa menyelamatkan kewarasan saya.
Tetapi, kita semua tahu bahwa pil, kondom dan metode lain pembatasan kelahiran hanya dapat menolong 99%. Dengan jenis keberuntungan I’m tidak punya, bahwa 1% kemungkinan kehamilan, menjadi kehamilan yang ke enam untuk saya.
Mulanya, saya tidak tahu saya hamil. Suami saya dan saya adalah kupu-kupu sosial dan hampir setiap Sabtu, kami di makan malam atau partai atau semacam mendapat-bersama. Bagaimanapun juga, setelah sesuatu Sabtu seperti itu, kami baik agak agak mabuk dari minuman keras setelah itu teman suami saya menyetir mobil sehingga kami kembali rumah kami. Sesudah cocok (atau sedikitnya apa saya berpikir dilakukan kami) pada anak, kami berhasil menaiki tingkat dan belok kedua pojok ke dalam kamar tidur kami. Satu hal menyebabkan lain dan segera kami ialah tidur dengan cekikikan belasan tahun yang kadang-kadang di antara kami.
Sesudah sekitar 2 bulan, saya mulai muntah secara teratur dan merasa murung. Kejadian itu terjadi 5 waktu, oleh sebab itu saya tahu di mana ini dikepalai. Namun, saya menerima tes kehamilan untuk menegaskan. Histeria sangat besar pada realisasi!! Saya tak percaya saya hamil untuk waktu keenam! Saya masih mengingat pembantu saya yang membintangi di saya sewaktu saya menyumpah di dialek berbeda (dengan bersyukur suami dan anak saya tidak di rumah). Saya mulai menangis secara tak terkendali dan memukul perut saya. Ini tak terjadi. Saya baru saja membuat cukup waktu bagi sendiri dengan 5 raksasa sudah timbul!
Saya tahu suami saya bermaksud menjadi tetap tentang menyimpan anak jika saya berkata kepadanya. Dia selalu sudah mengatakan bahwa 6 adalah jumlah mujurnya dan selalu bersembahyang kami akan mempunyai anak lain saja untuk mengumpulkan ke-5 ke 6. Juga, karean dia orang Katolik setia dan orang yang percaya besar di keluarga-keluarga besar, tidak ada cara dia bermaksud menyerahkan anak ini untuk adopsi atau yang lain. Saya tahu saya tidak ingin anak ini dan saya mesti menyingkirkannya sendiri. Oleh sebab itu saya berdiri di atas tangga saya. Saya menempatkan sendiri di tempat pembuangan tangga tertinggi dan menutup mata saya. Sebelum badan saya bisa mundur, saya berhenti. Saya tidak kuat.
Lalu, saya berlari seperti seorang maniak mengitari rumah saya, dengan sengaja menabrak hal seperti akhir tajam meja, pinggir piano saya. Satu-satunya hal yang menarik saya adalah memar di garas dan balapan anjing keluarga berpikir saya bermain-main dengannya. Sesudah bertubrukan dengan jambangan dan membuat kaca hancur di seluruh saya, saya menjadi sadar kembali. Kelakuan bodoh ini akan paksa berhenti dan saya memikirkan cara dengan serius untuk pergi dari ini.
Mencari Klinik
Oleh sebab itu sesudah memeriksa beberapa tempat yang menawari servis aborsi, saya memilih yang satu ini paling jauh dari rumah saya. Saya awalnya sudah mempertimbangkan melewati jalan yang ditinggikan untuk dilakukanitu tetapi kerepotan menerangkan saya kepada tiap orang memaksa saya membatalkan rencana itu. Agak terlalu riskan.
Senin pagi. Saya masih teringat hari ini secara jelas karena saya bangun dengan ingin saya tidak pernah merasa. Muda kembali, bahagia dan benar-benar penuh antusiasme selama hari. Sampai saya mendapat hari ini, saya bermaksud membunuh bayi saya.
Saya memakai rok kesayangan saya dan naik taksi ke klinik. Merasakan sedikit surreal dan hampir seperti versi membelit ‘Rosemary’s Baby’. Setelah prosedur tanda-tangani selasai, saya diputardi rumah operasi. Kata, ‘kebebasan’ melintas secepat kilat di pikiran saya seperti lampu neon.
Setelah apa yang nampaknya seperti perjalanan sampai yang tak dikenal dan kembali, saya bangun dengan jejak anestesi. Beristirahat untuk sedangkan, saya naik taksi dan kemabli rumah saya. Di rumah, saya memerintahkan anak dan pembantu untuk membiarkan saya sendiri sewaktu saya mempunyai kasus jelek flu.
Suami saya percaya dusta flu dan semua keluarga utuh tidak mendapati saya cukup panjang bagi saya untuk beristirahat. Hari ini, saya seorang ibu bahagia sebanyak 5 orang anak sehat dan seorang istri puas sedangkan semua tak tahu tentang rahasia saya.
Ya, aborsi jelek, aborsi kejam tetapi mungkin anda berpikir membawa seorang anak ke dalam dunia ini dan mengabaikannya, dua kali lebih jelek? Sedikitnya cara ini, janin tak meraba hal!
*Nama sudah diganti untuk melindungi identitas penulis.
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its not fair to judge someone if ur not in their shoes. as wrong as abortion might be, she made a decision that is right for HER and her FAMILY. so please, all of u who condemned her, look at urselfs first before making judgement. are u so prefect?
Well said Dee!
But for someone who doesnt want to be condemned Martha should have given her statements in a more “humane” way also…Making me want to think this is all a fabrication to stir up controversy on both sides.
And what a timing too! Today UN governments are having talks about legalizing abortion as a woman’s right.
Let us not go after each other’s throats on this.
Let us all think objectively.
If Martha is a real person she should have been also loving to her existing kids for they too have rights and should not be labeled as “monsters” in public.
Also if Martha is truely “Catholic” or Christian in which are the foremost sectors against abortion. She should have known better to go ahead with such and not be remorseful instead of saying rejuvenated as though she came from the spa.
The Catholic and Christian Sectors teaches their members with Concience gripping diligense.
So Martha I guess you are neither in the real sense or is just claiming to be one.
I suggest you do not go back to church because I guess your conscience would soon get the better of you and maybe I would soon read your confessions inside the psycho ward?
There is no factual basis for all your claims and statements.
So I guess this just one big propaganda!
I dare you Martha to go to your National TV for your confession and have your statements cleared.
I have three kids and I already feel like I am dying! I totally understand why you did what you did.
Hugs!
My goodness. Such judgemental and righteous anger, and from Christians. So, where’s that turn the other cheek, and let those who have not sinned cast the first stone?
All damned hypocrites, every single one of you. DAMNED HYPOCRITES.
What’s done cant’ be undone, since u already have so many children, please go for LIGATION! No worries for any unplanned pregnancy!
Furthermore it’s damaging to the woman’s health to go for abortion, there’s risk of womb abortion and we never know what will happen during old age.
Please for goodness’s sake, go FOR LIGATION~~!!!
good more women should take her rights in the third world countries and do as they want and not the demanding husbands i am happy for you
Let us not judge her based on our own values. It’s her right to do what she thinks best for herself and her family. Considering the risks, she’s actually sacrifing her own health for the sake of the future. It’s not fair for us to blame her.. just because she’s a woman, a wife and a mother. No matter what religion or belief u hold on to, a man is responsible to whatever actions his wife and children do. If he is really responsible, why then,didn’t he do his part? Why does it always have to be the wife? Did he ever considered how his wife felt about having another baby? Did he ever shared her stress and anguish in bringing up their children? Was he always there to tend to their night cries and illness? Yes, money and maid is a help but sharing the responsibilty btween your spouse meant a lot more than leaving it to your maid to be solved. To most man, the number of children are like prizes they can brag about. They demand for more but they tend to forget the responsibilities that come with it..
So Martha, get on with your life.Let bygone be bygone.I’m glad that you have a happy life now.
What’s done is done.. Please, take precaution after this.
You shouldnt have said “foetus didnt feel a thing”!
There are so many couples who couldnt conceive, yet you abort and to mention such sentence. Abortion, is not evil… everyone has their own reasons to their action. It is so cruel to say that your foetus will not feel anything!
I againts abortion in any reasons. Coz my children is my top priority. They are the reasons I am breathing and living.. even when they became ‘mosnter’ still, they are my everyday blessed of life.
All these verbal slamming against people being judgmental is dumb. Martha has already judged that another child will just ruin her life. Yes it’s easy to forget the husband is also partly responsible for this but he never suggested killing the child, I’m sure he’ll oppose to it if he had known.
No matter what’s been said, I’m happy to know that Martha will be psychologically haunted by her own killing act, for the rest of her life. It’s inhuman to take the life of others. It brings about God’s wrath and I’m sure He’ll never let you get away with it. Why put God in the picture? Well she never shouldn’t have mentioned about being Catholic in the first place. So this, is a guilty conscience forever etched into her dumb brain. That itself is a gift of curse for you Martha. Congratulations, mother monster. Get yourself ligated u dumb woman!
I believed in whatever God give that is a reason behind. It is not our right to kill the fetus. Although having 5 children is tough, but since already have 5, additional 1 kid is not a big duel. After all it is not financial problem or health matter. It is a mother who just don’t want the baby.
I had a great experience during my pregnancy. Which almost cause me to give up my child. Nonetheless, I sticked on what I’m believe, now I had over come all the difficultive and has a good time.
I still believe GOD give an angel to us for a reason. We must be greatful and accept it.
Comments are everybody rights. What she did is wrong in the eyes of religion. But in human rights, she did what she had to do. For now she is safe. In hereafter she have to pay for her doing. She know that too. Stop commenting and judging her. Give her a break. Enough is enough.
god bless u..no matter how u had already make a decision. what is pass is pass. Rather then later u get crazy or 6 monster…i totally understand how u feel. even i knw abortion is bad.
What’s with all the anti-choice comments?
Killed a life? So, by cleaning and sanitizing your own homes, aren’t you people killing the lives of billions of bacteria? Think again.
i actually wonder how many other can carry their child up to 40 weeks inside their wombs and kill or abandon their infants once they’re delivered. am not a pro abortion nor am against it. i have a 13.5 months baby girl (whom I adore so much) and am expecting a second one this year and already think that 2 is quite enough. so i guess i could imagine and sympathized what a mom of 5 would probably go through.
hey think in her shoes.. if you’ve got 5 children on your heels everyday, wouldn’t you feel the same as what she’s feeling? its 5 children! and you know how children nowadays are. spoil, demanding, strawberry generation… pressure from all these could lead to a unhappy relationship between the parents. so what if you are a holy christian here to condemn her acts? would you be brave enough to bear a sixth child if you were her? think before condemning. would you rather give birth to a child who you will grow to dislike and let the child suffer an unhappy childhood? give her a break, holy people, she’s doing what’s more practical.
Whilst i can understand your point of view, Im not sure if you did the right thing.
Perhaps you should have thought of the consequences -after all, there is a reason why protection is so readily available. Having said that, i acknowledge that fun often gets in the way and at times like those, you dont really think.
But there must be another way to try and set things right. Aborting the baby and then hiding the truth from your husband certainly doesnt seem like the right decision…
seriously, can u think it frm the other way? there are numbers of couples out there trying so hard so hard to conceive but yet they got nothing. u’r blessed with 5+1 n yet u choose to abor him/her away n yet u still hve the cheek to say that ‘the feotus dun feel a thing’?! do u know that the moment u’r preg, the feotus heartbeat is already connected to u! before u went on any abortion did u dic frm the clinic show u series of CDs that tell u how the procedures are like? if ur child is a dummy or retarded, i got nothing much to comments abt ur abortion. seriously, u’r nt fit to be a mother of 5!
at least if u abort you feel sad about that we understand but you feel happy?
i HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH COLD BLOODED MONSTER LIKE YOU.
I WISH RETRIBUTION GETS TO YOU
whether ruining the child life is all under ur hands
you can change it. nothing is impossible.
Enough with the holier than thou attitudes. What the hell is all your problem?
Cant you see that the woman did the RIGHT Thing. She acted practically!
ANd it’s not like she wanted to get pregnant in the first place. It was an accident. AN unwanted pregnancy. Plus she was on birth control, so she really was acting cautious.
Grow up all of you!
Just like to emphasize the foetus is a life.
So sad that he or she has chosen you as parent.
A child is a gift from God. Why so cruel and deny the rights of the baby.
Ya, talking about human rights, rights, rights, rights…
B***h. No wonder there are 12,000 abortions in Singapore. With women like her…
the foetus didnt feel a thing?! are you human or what?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOR1wUqvJS4
the foetus didnt feel a thing?! are you human or what?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOR1wUqvJS4
how ridiculous of judgemental people to accuse others of being judgemental! who are we to judge her?! more like, who are you to judge those who condemn her?
some mums have no choice but to abort their babies because of certain health or family reasons. and here, you are blessed with a perfectly healthy child and a stable family. and you chose to abort it? you dont even want to give him or her a chance to live. my heart aches for your child. it all stems from your selfish desire to have more time for yourself. it’s plain selfishness and irrationality on your part. you could have discussed it with your hubby first before you decided to let your ego get over you.
you just do not have the capacity for true motherly love. i pity your other 5 kids too.